There comes a point when you realise that life isn’t quite shaping up to be the way that you first thought it would be. You might have all the lemons, and are trying to make lemonade, but somehow it just isn’t working. I am sure you have been there too. The pandemic has stopped many people’s careers in their tracks. We have all been brutally whipped into having to do some self discovery and that might include moving in a new career direction. It is daunting, especially when you were pretty good at what you had previously done. So the last thing you need is friends bringing self doubt into your career shift.
I used to work in events, so as no events seem to be happening in the near future, I am considering pivoting into a new career. I am really interested in psychology, business coaching and bringing out the best in people. It is a thought, a mere seedling of an idea that I want to explore further. However, I've had a few friends question my decision recently. The response (and tell me if you recognise this) usually comes with the beginning sentence starter of “hun, love, darling” or something equally saccharine. It goes something like “darling do you really think successful people would want to listen to what you have to say, I mean it's not like you started a company, and you know I love you but come on really?” Suffice to say that these remarks were neither helpful or accurate, even if they were well meaning. What bothered me most was the language shift when someone is going to pretend to give you a “hard truth” and they begin to talk to you like you were a child. But the reality is I am not a girl with my head in the clouds; career shifts are hard, I’ve already done it once (I used to be a teacher) so it stands to reason I can do it again. I am sure I am not the only one to have canvassed around friends for ideas to be shut down in a second with just a laugh. It is beyond infuriating and yes says more about them then it does about me, but whatever happened to having each other's backs? What I have learnt in life however, is all those times in my past I have been underestimated, and all those times I have proven people wrong.
My past in a nutshell:
I spent my early high school years at a very large, not great school until GCSE year where I moved to Camden School for Girls, a bohemian, academic, ‘you do you’ (but get the grades) type of school. A complete change! I quickly went from the top of the class to near the bottom, so when it was time to apply to universities I was told to “choose a backup school”. Now me being me, I was firm in my decisions and I politely declined to ever consider going to what I would call a ‘sub par’ school. Armed full of confidence and, against my teachers wishes, I applied to Warwick as my fall back school. Warwick was actually more academic than my first choice Sussex University, so I really made no logical sense in this choice. I was told I would not get in, that I was making a huge mistake. So obviously (being me) I applied, and low and behold I got in! The teachers were stunned- victory was mine, and it felt really good!
Dyslexia:
In addition, It was only in my fourth year of university that I found out I had mild dyslexia, which I have to say came as a relief and explained the many times every school report read “does not live up to her potential”. My so-called ‘laziness’, was actually due to having poor short-term memory and learning in a different way. Still no challenge is insurmountable and nothing stopped me from getting a 2:1 at university and having a blast along the way!
The Setback: It wasn’t Vogue but it was absolutely f*cking fantastic!
I am also reminded that sometimes setbacks are just life's way of re-directing your path. I was once down to the final two for a job at Vogue, working on the Vogue Fashion Festival. This was an absolute dream job and I was devastated when I lost it. However, I ended up working on the tech publication WIRED, I learnt all about start-ups, the world of entrepreneurs, and what successful businesses look like. I also got to go on some incredible press trips, most notably to the Monaco Grand Prix with Netjets. I made lifelong friends and worked with people I have the utmost respect for. Had I gone to Vogue, I would never have experienced the rich tapestry of life that really shaped me into the person I am today; a person I happen to like and believe in.
Why we should all have courage:
My point is this, when I was young, I had confidence and courage in myself, I knew my worth, I knew my abilities and I believed in myself. I did not listen to those in authority, despite being a pretty polite and respectful student. I paved my own way even though others put me down, or showed little belief in me. I fought for my seat at the table.
I am sure if you look back at your past, there will have been moments where you were undervalued, your talents and abilities underappreciated, your path in life questioned. As we get older, especially now I’m in my thirties, I have faced just as many knock backs as I have triumphs. And believe me I know it does become harder to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again. Life gets hard. Life is hard. However, when I think back to that 17-year-old girl I am reminded that if you can dream it, you can do it with a bit of faith and perseverance. Build your resilience and believe in yourself.
Redirection is often the path to great things:
So I say this to remind you that setbacks and rejections, should be seen as re-directions. Have a little faith in yourself, in your abilities, in your gut instincts and trust that with patience and hard work good things will come. Even if we have to wait for the pandemic to be over for this to happen. Focus on your passions, put time into connecting with friends and family that lift you up and remind you of your achievements and your worth. And please ignore those ‘well meaning’ friends’ comments, no one knows your potential like you, in fact sometimes you don’t need to even ask them for their opinions. So back yourself, and remember a time when you had the confidence to follow the path you wanted to, the truth is YOU have done it before, so YOU can do it again!